Morality of Fandom vs Family

[FootyLovin]

It was bound to happen at some point. In 2 years I've not yet missed a home game at YS, but for the first time I have a family conflict.

My 11-year old daughter plays viola and will be playing 2 concerts as part of her summer camp, one in a concert hall in August, and one on a stage at the beach in our town on September 17, the same day we host Dallas.

I ask the following in all seriousness, partially as philosophical questions and partially as practical questions to address this specific situation.

• What is the morality of the obligations of fandom vs family?
• What are the rationales by which one makes these decisions?
• How does one value a streak (e.g., never missed a game) vs a non-replicable or limited replicability experience (e.g., this may be the only time I ever see my daughter play in an orchestra in this particular outdoor venue)?

 

[Tom in Fairfield CT]

It was bound to happen at some point. In 2 years I've not yet missed a home game at YS, but for the first time I have a family conflict.

My 11-year old daughter plays viola and will be playing 2 concerts as part of her summer camp, one in a concert hall in August, and one on a stage at the beach in our town on September 17, the same day we host Dallas.

I ask the following in all seriousness, partially as philosophical questions and partially as practical questions to address this specific situation.

• What is the morality of the obligations of fandom vs family?
• What are the rationales by which one makes these decisions?
• How does one value a streak (e.g., never missed a game) vs a non-replicable or limited replicability experience (e.g., this may be the only time I ever see my daughter play in an orchestra in this particular outdoor venue)?

Dude, thats not even a question. Go watch your daughter

 

[Schwallacus]

family over fandom*

(*unless you for some horrid reason lost your entire family or hate each and every one of them)

 

[Gene]

IMHO it depends on down and distance.

I wouldn't sweat it at all if it were something like a run-of-the-mill family get together (weekend BBQ, or something similar).

On the reverse side, super special events like these concerts are to be embraced. Especially if they happen to be her 1st performances.

Streaks are meant to be broken. Start a new one with the Chicago match on the 23rd.

 

[Vaporizer]

Your daughter will remember forever that you were there for her , the team won't notice that you're gone

 

[roxfontaine]

Bruh... it's soccer. Go watch your daughter... and never even consider, let alone ask this question again.

 

[mgarbowski]

I have missed one event like that so far. Last year my younger girl earned the role of the Cheshire Cat in her school production of Alice in Wonderland. It was a big role for a 5th Grader in a production where the grade range was 4 through 8. The school set the date for the play very, very late, and I had already committed to my annual photo trip with friends that same week. The key factors in my decision to miss her performance were that my trip happens once per year, cannot be moved once my friends and I agree on the date, and I had paid for plane tickets and such. I'm not sure what I would have done if the play were scheduled first, and my friends and I, after consulting all of us and trying to accommodate the most people, set our photo trip for that week despite me having a conflict. There are enough of us that someone always has a conflict somewhere. These trips are the only non-family time I take every year and the only time I see those friends. I'm glad I didn't have to make that decision in the position where I had not committed and bought tickets. To me that is where the decision would have been very hard, and I would have had regrets either way.

For this, the calculus would not be close. One of 17 replicable annual events. Your streak will end someday, and the longer it goes the more it becomes a burden. You'll see your section mates 16 times this year. I would watch my daughter perform.

 

[adam]

After making I think 15 home matches last season, I think I've only made it to 4 this year. All because of family events, holidays, or get togethers conflicting (schedule just worked out poorly for me this season). I just DVR and watch at home. No shame, I'm still a real fan, but family always comes first.

 

[Ulrich]

I'm still a real fan.

Have you asked Frank?

 

[JayH]

FootyLovin I suggest that you compromise and just wear the Pirlo sign to the concert.

 

[SoupInNYC]

For this, the calculus would not be close. One of 17 replicable annual events. Your streak will end someday, and the longer it goes the more it becomes a burden. You'll see your section mates 16 times this year. I would watch my daughter perform.

This bolded part especially. I'm a huge Steelers fan and I took great pride that I had not missed a single game (watching live on TV) from the 2001 season through the 2013 season. The longer the streak went, and the other events I was either able to record and watch "live" around or miss out on, the more pressure I put on myself to keep it going.

Finally I realized I was holding myself back, two years ago I took my mom to Peru and missed two regular season games, only caught the highlights from them (one of them we lost to Cleveland, so I'm kinda glad I missed that one). Since then, it feels much much easier to not feel like I absolutely have to watch the game.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still clearing gameday to make sure I can watch it, but I no longer have it at the top of my priority list.

 

[Hobo]

Missed my first home game this season because I took the kids on our annual Fathers Day, no moms allowed, camping weekend. For all of us, those memories will last a lifetime. A day out with dad at NYCFC is fun but it's nowhere near as memorable.

 

[LionNYC]

"You obviously go to the game." Said the 22 year old with no major obligations in his life.

 

[mgarbowski]

"You obviously go to the game." Said the 22 year old with no major obligations in his life.

... and a decent self-deprecating self-awareness.

 

[LionNYC]

Just be sure to give your tickets to someone else so you get Cityzens points. Even better if you give them your actual season card so it will appear that you attended and will count to the number of matches at the end of the season to attend a practice or be on the field or whatever that things was they sent out a while ago.

 

[RockShrimp]

One of my friends is skipping my wedding because he hasn't missed a Michigan home football game in over a decade...

 

[Ulrich]

One of my friends is skipping my wedding because he hasn't missed a Michigan home football game in over a decade...

One of your Ex-friends?

 

[Christopher Jee]

Great thread.

Great reason not to have kids (jk).

 

[S1ARK5]

It was bound to happen at some point. In 2 years I've not yet missed a home game at YS, but for the first time I have a family conflict.

My 11-year old daughter plays viola and will be playing 2 concerts as part of her summer camp, one in a concert hall in August, and one on a stage at the beach in our town on September 17, the same day we host Dallas.

I ask the following in all seriousness, partially as philosophical questions and partially as practical questions to address this specific situation.

• What is the morality of the obligations of fandom vs family?
• What are the rationales by which one makes these decisions?
• How does one value a streak (e.g., never missed a game) vs a non-replicable or limited replicability experience (e.g., this may be the only time I ever see my daughter play in an orchestra in this particular outdoor venue)?

To me family over sports any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Just think of it this way. If you miss the game and we play like crap and lose, you will feel even better, and say glad I wasn't there and made the right choice. If you miss a game and we win, you will feel great as well.

The streak really is not that important compared to supporting family. Just my .02.

 

[JayH]

It's also helpful if you train your kids to have their priorities straight. My 4 year old was disappointed that he couldn't join me for the last Red Bulls game because my parents were coming into the city to spend a couple of hours with him. He learned the valuable lesson that family comes before soccer. And he then made them spend their entire visit watching the game with him from whistle to whistle.