Our OT Threads Lack Verve and Imagination

Gentleman and Ladies. I pledge to make our OFf Topic Threads GREAT again. My only issue is my new jobs firewall blocks the site and my fingers are really yuge so I can't post enough from my phone. Give me a week. I will prove to you that I am the man to fix this problem. Then elect me admin and give me nycfc Twitter access.
You seem unfit for the position.
 
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Gentleman and Ladies. I pledge to make our OFf Topic Threads GREAT again. My only issue is my new jobs firewall blocks the site and my fingers are really yuge so I can't post enough from my phone. Give me a week. I will prove to you that I am the man to fix this problem. Then elect me admin and give me nycfc Twitter access.
What makes you qualified for the job? Why should I hire you over other applicants? I'm gonna need a drug test