Walking Away from One Summer Internship After Accepting and Getting Stipend

[mgarbowski]

Daughter accepted a summer job from Company A. She did a drug test. This coming Monday is a deadline to register for a training orientation. At the same time they will transfer a stipend for travel and lodging because the orientation is a different location from the internship.

Meanwhile she is waiting on an offer from Company B. She would rather work for B this summer. But the offer, if it comes, won't be until after she registers for the orientation and has the stipend in hand. Plus they paid for the drug test.

Wife and daughter both have real hesitation about potentially blowing off A. Older daughter says do what you gotta do if you want to work for B. Return the stipend, too bad about the drug test cost, and move on. You're probably burning bridges with A, but other than that there's nothing wrong practically or ethically. I agree with older girl, but I'm old school enough it makes me itch to say so.

What say my forum friends?

 

[CCMore]

I agree with your opinion, employers do not give employees as much deference as they did half a century ago when employees used to have a sense of belonging to a company they worked for. These days the best way to climb the ladder is to bounce around and always look to your next opportunity while doing the least “bridge burning” that you can. Unless it’s a super niche field where the employers are talking about a minute amount of employees and employer A would cry a foul to company B, I’d switch to company B. Besides I’m sure that this isn’t a start up that would come after you for the cost of a drug test. She’s an intern, it’s not like she is going to be the head of a department. But the only other thing I’d consider is the old saying “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Is company B an almost certainty? Cause if it isn’t I’d go with A.

So all in all I lean 80-20 towards going with company B.

 

[413Blue]

Company A likely won't reward her for any loyalty, so do what's best for her. I'm guessing they run into this with summer internships frequently and these situations are built into company A's business plan. Unless it's a small little non-profit, they will be ok.
The only ethical dilemma would be if holding out is preventing another interested candidate from getting the spot, but again, gotta look out for self vest interests. It's a competitive world out there!

 

[Gotham Gator]

What is the reason she wasn't up front with A from the start and simply said I am interested in your internship but I can't commit yet?

 

[mgarbowski]

What is the reason she wasn't up front with A from the start and simply said I am interested in your internship but I can't commit yet?

A few things:
I think she didn't expect Company B to give her an interview at the time.
Deadlines.
I think some vacillation is built into the model. The real commitment date seems to be Monday.
Finally, I think there is "Yes, let's move forward" and "Yes I will be there."

 

[mgarbowski]

I agree with your opinion, employers do not give employees as much deference as they did half a century ago when employees used to have a sense of belonging to a company they worked for. These days the best way to climb the ladder is to bounce around and always look to your next opportunity while doing the least “bridge burning” that you can. Unless it’s a super niche field where the employers are talking about a minute amount of employees and employer A would cry a foul to company B, I’d switch to company B. Besides I’m sure that this isn’t a start up that would come after you for the cost of a drug test. She’s an intern, it’s not like she is going to be the head of a department. But the only other thing I’d consider is the old saying “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Is company B an almost certainty? Cause if it isn’t I’d go with A.

So all in all I lean 80-20 towards going with company B.

Yeah, not a start up. Also A and B are completely different industries.

 

[joe]

She should feel fine to blow off A if and when she gets the offer from B.

 

[LionNYC]

You do what's best for you. Only thing potentially is ask Company B for an accelerated response for an offer because Company A is already in motion.

 

[gbservis]

I agree with others about going with option B. I don't know the industry or company size but I would add that most larger employers I have worked for have do not hire lists maintained by HR. The primary purpose is to make sure an employee that has been terminated is not unknowingly rehired in another department. It varies by company but in some more uptight companies quitting with no or short notice or backing out on an offer after accepting can land a person on the do not hire lists.

It's likely a low risk but I thought it was worth noting that it could prevent future options to work for company A in the small chance it matters.

 

[gbservis]

I agree with others about going with option B. I don't know the industry or company size but I would add that most larger employers I have worked for have do not hire lists maintained by HR. The primary purpose is to make sure an employee that has been terminated is not unknowingly rehired in another department. It varies by company but in some more uptight companies quitting with no or short notice or backing out on an offer after accepting can land a person on the do not hire lists.

It's likely a low risk but I thought it was worth noting that it could prevent future options to work for company A in the small chance it matters.

 

[joe]

I agree with others about going with option B. I don't know the industry or company size but I would add that most larger employers I have worked for have do not hire lists maintained by HR. The primary purpose is to make sure an employee that has been terminated is not unknowingly rehired in another department. It varies by company but in some more uptight companies quitting with no or short notice or backing out on an offer after accepting can land a person on the do not hire lists.

It's likely a low risk but I thought it was worth noting that it could prevent future options to work for company A in the small chance it matters.

I'll clarify for the record that my "blow off company A" presumed she would give reasonable notice.

 

[mgarbowski]

Well, Company B came though this afternoon! So there's no issue with registering for the orientation or accepting the stipend from A . The orientation is 6 weeks away so there's a reasonable amount of notice I believe.
Now we just have a lot of logistics to arrange: housing and local transportation in a city 2,000 miles away.
But it's a great opportunity and these are good problems to have.
Thanks for the advice and feedback everyone.

 

[Shwafta]

We had a guy join our team 2 years ago, he was around for about one week before he disappeared bc he got a better job offer - after he had already accepted and started working here.
Another guy, one of my mentees at my last job, left after i think it was 3 months? because he used that position as leverage help for his application and interview at Amazon.

Do what you have to do, in the long run if she thinks B is the better option, then it's the better option.

-edit-
I got sniped by some frankly great news
Good luck with all the logistical aspects and congrats!!!

 

[GratefulDawg]

Good to see that someone has gotten good news in the last two days.

This has been a brutal week, and we've got three more years of this shit to go.

Good luck to your daughter.

 

[ZYanksRule]

The only person that will take care of you is you. Take care of yourself, do what you want to do, set yourself up however you want to set yourself up.

I've also had a lot of good luck by taking chances on myself and believing in myself. If you (her) believe B is the right option, take B. But go as far as you can with the first one -- if you have to blow them off in the end, this is business. They shouldn't take it personally.

 

[FootyLovin]

Wow. I missed this start to finish. Congrats!!!

Amazing that there is unanimous view on this.

For posterity's sake I will simply add that industry, more than company, especially at the start of a career, has massive impact. People talk about company culture, but industries have values that are very difficult to work within and not adopt. So I too am on the Company B bandwagon.

 

[mgarbowski]

Thanks for the added feedback all.
A bit more context to address some things raised. Company A only told her about the Monday stipend timing on Thursday. She emailed B also Thursday to tell them about her timing issues and they called her back to say things were trending positively but she would not hear until next week. So it was a very pleasant surprise for her to get the offer yesterday.

Long term, it's TBD what industry she wants to be in. I think she's flexible on that. She's studying EE. Her extra-curricular project team is automotive, and she definitely has an interest there. Neither Company A or B is in that field, but she did work in that industry last summer., and I think it's good she's doing something else. Plus Company B is potentially a resume builder, somewhat less about that company or industry and more a springboard, though nobody would be disappointed if she stayed with it long term.

Sorry to be coy with specifics. There are reasons.
Thanks again. This was helpful, even if the new timing on the offer made the decision not as fraught as expected.

 

[Kenny]

Thanks for the added feedback all.
A bit more context to address some things raised. Company A only told her about the Monday stipend timing on Thursday. She emailed B also Thursday to tell them about her timing issues and they called her back to say things were trending positively but she would not hear until next week. So it was a very pleasant surprise for her to get the offer yesterday.

Long term, it's TBD what industry she wants to be in. I think she's flexible on that. She's studying EE. Her extra-curricular project team is automotive, and she definitely has an interest there. Neither Company A or B is in that field, but she did work in that industry last summer., and I think it's good she's doing something else. Plus Company B is potentially a resume builder, somewhat less about that company or industry and more a springboard, though nobody would be disappointed if she stayed with it long term.

Sorry to be coy with specifics. There are reasons.
Thanks again. This was helpful, even if the new timing made the decision was not as fraught as expected.

What’s EE, Environmental engineering? Electrical engineering? Those are what my daughter and son respectively do, having both graduated in the last couple of years

 

[mgarbowski]

What’s EE, Environmental engineering? Electrical engineering? Those are what my daughter and son respectively do, having both graduated in the last couple of years

Nice. EE is electrical, at least to me. Older girl graduated '22 in aerospace and works adjacent to aero now.
I would use EnvE for environmental, but I don't claim to be authoritative.

 

[Kenny]

Yeah that’s probably right. Love that your girls are making headway in what seem to be still heavily male fields. If your younger stays with EE, my son is at National Grid if/when she is looking for contacts! He actually should be graduating THIS spring but with HS AP credits and a summer semester in college he was able to graduate a year early

Anyway sorry to hijack the thread…