He's a bully the way he treats Mix and Poku. He's a megalomaniac and is the only one who thinks he is a genius. he is a moron with the way he runs a team.
It really is bullying. I have been trying to figure out exactly what it was, and you nailed it.
I think he's either in over his head, or fears that he is. As a result, his actions are weak even while his talk is that of someone attempting to portray calm control. Because any confidence he demonstrates at this point is simply an acting job, he doesn't enter a game with a positive mindset. Instead, he builds excuses for his team's performance into the setup. He can't quit because that would cost him serious money. And he doesn't have the nuts to go for the win and find out he's just not good enough, so he tries to hedge himself for his next gig by pointing to weakened squads.
To me, that is one of the key indicators that it's time to go. I may have seen a manager come back from this brink at some time, but I can't really recall it. The question is, if he doesn't turn it around this year, what argument is there for giving him another? Once we are at this stage, where a manager's decisions leave everyone asking questions about odd selections, how do you think the team must feel? They know who the better players are and who deserves to start. Do you think guys like Villa and Pirlo don't notice? Damn right, they do. They want to win. You don't have their track record without being a hyper-competitive SOB. And those guys have won more than just about anyone in the game. THEY KNOW.
Think about this: not a single poster has offered an actual defense of putting Grabavoy in that lineup, other than the circular logic that Kreis did it because Kreis trusts/is comfortable with/knows him. Hell, you say that, you've said it all. Truly, it's all right there in the one defense anyone has even attempted to mount. What about who the players trust? A manager has a responsibility on that front, too. None of our better players want to even pass the ball to him.
So what, again is the argument for him staying another year IF he can't get it together? If he's lost the big name guys, and he will if he doesn't change his ways, then it's either he goes or they go or we become a dysfunctional joke. Our DPs want to strut their stuff. Those guys are leaders, and if they've lost respect for the man in the position, even their effort on gameday won't be enough to keep everyone holding on to the rope.
He has 2 months. Honestly, I don't think he is the manager we thought he was, so I would predict he will continue failing. We should have seen it coming when he allowed himself to be walked all over on the Lampard signing and then especially by Pellegrini on the Lampard "re-assignment" (that ought to be neutral enough to mitigate any rabbit chasing). If he does continue failing, there is just no way he can stay on.
In my mind, I have narrowed it down to a couple of choices based on what we have seen this year on and off the pitch.
A. He is not the manager we thought he was.
Or
B. For whatever reason, he doesn't want to be the manager of NYC anymore.
Either way, those point to issues that are beyond anything that time alone would remedy. If he turns it around this year, then my assessment will be wrong, and I'll be the happiest idiot in NYC. I just very much doubt that it happens. But if I were making the decision, he'd get the next 10 games to prove me wrong. No more, no less. If he fails to improve significantly, he would not be allowed in the locker room after the last game. I'd get his forwarding address and have Securitas escort him directly out of the stadium.