Rules, Policies, And Other Items That Should Be In Our New Stadium

This thread is adorable. Few more suggestions from me:

Guaranteed NYCFC win at every home game: Makes for better atmosphere, team might do better in MLS standings

Unlimited free beer for anyone who knows secret password (Clue: Secret password is "f**k"): More beer sales --> ??? --> PROFIT

Green Street Hooligans playing on TV in every section during half time: Makes us look more badass

20 minute window for 'Purge'-style riots after the game on River Ave: Self-explanatory

Rollercoaster inside the stadium: Gets more people attending games, maximizes rollercoaster-based profits
 
This thread is adorable. Few more suggestions from me:

Guaranteed NYCFC win at every home game: Makes for better atmosphere, team might do better in MLS standings

Unlimited free beer for anyone who knows secret password (Clue: Secret password is "f**k"): More beer sales --> ??? --> PROFIT

Green Street Hooligans playing on TV in every section during half time: Makes us look more badass

20 minute window for 'Purge'-style riots after the game on River Ave: Self-explanatory

Rollercoaster inside the stadium: Gets more people attending games, maximizes rollercoaster-based profits
Free Porn For Families: porn on the tv's around the stadium

Weird punk/indymix: because yea

fred perry and ben sherman storre
 
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You should be able to teleport to the stadium. It should have year round weather of a stadium in LA. It should be a mandatory stop for the US National Teams at least once a year.
 
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I'd like to demand that I get my own private booth, with the toga-clothed women waving palm fronds to cool me down as I recline in my Roman chaise longue, plus a bizjet + personal runway to fly me across the Atlantic for every game.

I'd just like to point out at this point that there's a direct correlation between the games I've attended and the games we've actually won, so there's a good reason to support this.
 
I demand his immediate removal from this forum. All his other suggestions are plausible, but THIS?!?!?! THIS IS TOO FAR!!!!!
I just can't love his post enough. He is trying so hard to impress. He names two highly specific beers that I guarantee would make a 16 year old gag immediately, another one that I have never heard of, and Google has no ideas for, then drops "some fruit beers"(lol), disgusting Genessee and sam adams, the only ones I believe that he stole sips from when his parents left them unattended. The topper is the etc etc, as if that motley bunch was enough for us to all understand the varied and adult tastes that Scouse would have us believe that he possesses.

Scouse we know you are 16! you've already impressed us with your spelling and your fervor for the more illegal aspects of soccer supporting, you don't need to try so hard!